As a “Recovering People-Pleaser,” you are someone who has been doing some healing work around people-pleasing behaviors. It is likely that you’ve had previous struggles with people-pleasing at some stage in your life. Where once you might have made compromises around your time, energy and happiness to please others, as a recovering people-pleaser you’ve learned that this doesn’t serve you.

It is likely that you know yourself pretty well by now; you know what you want, what you need and what makes you feel good. This is a great place to be. You most likely say yes whenever it is a hell yes and no when it is no for you. You have practiced having healthy boundaries and your relationships are more meaningful now. You are becoming much more assertive and using your voice to speak up.

Of course, nobody is perfect and no one gets it right all the time. This old pattern can still show up from time to time as well. There will inevitably be situations or scenarios where you may find yourself slipping back into those old patterns and behaviors and that’s ok. It is important that you acknowledge all of the incredible work that you have already done and to ensure you keep taking steps forward to further build your confidence and assertiveness.

As a people pleaser you are known for being that person who is so incredibly nice, and constantly tripping over themselves to keep everyone else happy. You have a very hard time saying no and your boundaries are wishy washy at best. You most likely have a hard time saying yes to the things that you want to do because it is more important that you say yes to the needs, wants and desires of the others in your life.

You definitely avoid conflict at all costs. In fact, you hardly ever assert yourself especially if you know that it will disappoint the other. You would much rather keep your wants, needs, thoughts and feelings to yourself. Whenever your friends complain or gossip about things, you tend to just go along with them rather than speak up for yourself.

It is very common for you to sabotage your efforts to take care of yourself in order to take care of another’s needs. You feel very guilty whenever you put yourself first. Don’t get me wrong here it is a good thing to be kind and be thoughtful of other people. That is not what we’re talking about here. The people pleaser just tends to put other peoples’ happiness ahead of their own.

As a recovering perfectionist, you have probably been doing some inner work and have healed a great deal. It is likely that you had struggles with perfectionism at some stage of your life. Where once you had extremely high expectations of yourself and others you are now learning to set realistic expectations.

You now have more grace and compassion for yourself and you know that your best is good enough. In fact, whenever you begin a new job, career, workout routine or relationship, you expect that you will make mistakes and that a learning curve will be part of the experience. You most likely have more courage to step outside your comfort zone because you are not afraid of making mistakes. You accept that you are imperfect and that makes you human.

Finally, you no longer rely on external validation to feel worthy. You now know that it is an inside job and that your worthiness is inherent and you are always enough and have always been enough. Of course, nobody is perfect and on-one gets it right all the time. This old pattern can still show up from time to time as well. There will inevitably be situations or scenarios where you may find yourself slipping back into those old patterns and behaviors and that’s ok. It is important that you acknowledge all of the incredible work that you have already done and to ensure you keep taking steps forward to further build your confidence and assertiveness. If you would like support to ensure that you keep going in the right direction or you just want to be a part of a like minded community look below.

As a perfectionist you tend to live in a prison in your head. You are most likely very hard on yourself and set very high expectations for yourself, others and circumstances. You most likely avoid anything that you think you might fail at and try to be perfect in everything that you do.

When things don’t go according to your expectations you tend to get very upset. If you are working on a particular task or starting something new like a job, career or relationship, if it is difficult you may want to quit or you do quit. Sometimes when things are challenging you may procrastinate because it is too difficult and because you feel that you can’t do it perfectly. You have rigid all or nothing thinking which sounds like “if I can’t do it all perfectly then don’t do it at all.”

You are probably very dependent on external validation. I bet when you were in school you needed to get perfect grades and as an adult you may need validation from your boss, friends or close family members.